How Do You Want That?
The verse in Tehillim ("Ashrei") reads: You open Your Hand and satisfy the will of every living being.
It's a strange verse in that a lot of people don't seem to get what they want. What does the verse mean?
To me it means that what we think we want may not be what we actually want. For example, if I think I want to lose weight, but then I succumb to desire and eat an entire chocolate cake, it could be that a deeper part of me doesn't want to lose weight. Perhaps the part of me that wants to lose weight, for my health as well as my self esteem, is outweighed by the part of me that is rife with chaos.
The reality of our will is reflected by our actions. Being of conflicted will we often act against ourselves, doing things we know are wrong for us.
A good part of prayer (in my mind) is creating an inner space where my personal will can be "discussed" between myself and my Creator openly and frankly, without holding back. In that space I can begin to find my true will, and build upon it - by discovering the best and the worst of me. The best I can then nurture, and the worst in me I can try to repair, to change, to take responsibility for, and in time to mellow and mature from.
We say in the musaf of the High Holidays, that tefila (prayer) can change the Divine decree.
The reason for this is often given that through the act of prayer, the person becomes a different person, and so the decree must change. But everything "changes" us. Eating that chocolate cake will certainly leave its mark! But the point is of course, prayer changes the person inside, the real you, the real me. Because the sum of us is the sum of what we really want, in the deepest part of us.
Tefila has the power to change that inner you, as your mind reflects upon itself and its place in the universe.
Tefila is the work of the heart (avodah she’bilev) which means the seat of desire.
To be pure of heart requires us to resolve the inner conflicts that our desires sometimes lead us into.
Tefila is the space within we can dialogue, with God and with ourselves, about resolving stuff.
That is why it is private. So it can be real.
It's a strange verse in that a lot of people don't seem to get what they want. What does the verse mean?
To me it means that what we think we want may not be what we actually want. For example, if I think I want to lose weight, but then I succumb to desire and eat an entire chocolate cake, it could be that a deeper part of me doesn't want to lose weight. Perhaps the part of me that wants to lose weight, for my health as well as my self esteem, is outweighed by the part of me that is rife with chaos.
The reality of our will is reflected by our actions. Being of conflicted will we often act against ourselves, doing things we know are wrong for us.
A good part of prayer (in my mind) is creating an inner space where my personal will can be "discussed" between myself and my Creator openly and frankly, without holding back. In that space I can begin to find my true will, and build upon it - by discovering the best and the worst of me. The best I can then nurture, and the worst in me I can try to repair, to change, to take responsibility for, and in time to mellow and mature from.
We say in the musaf of the High Holidays, that tefila (prayer) can change the Divine decree.
The reason for this is often given that through the act of prayer, the person becomes a different person, and so the decree must change. But everything "changes" us. Eating that chocolate cake will certainly leave its mark! But the point is of course, prayer changes the person inside, the real you, the real me. Because the sum of us is the sum of what we really want, in the deepest part of us.
Tefila has the power to change that inner you, as your mind reflects upon itself and its place in the universe.
Tefila is the work of the heart (avodah she’bilev) which means the seat of desire.
To be pure of heart requires us to resolve the inner conflicts that our desires sometimes lead us into.
Tefila is the space within we can dialogue, with God and with ourselves, about resolving stuff.
That is why it is private. So it can be real.