Trembling With Joy
Someone recently said quite pointedly that she dreads Rosh Hashanah.
Why?
She believes she is obligated to "pray real hard" or else bad things might happen during the year. She hates the pressure!
She wished she could relate to the day in a way that would help her grow.
Let's try and do that:
There is a good and bad "side" to everything. It's true we should approach Rosh Hashanah with fear, but when it does not produce anxiety. When fear becomes anxiety it is a clear sign that what we're afraid for is not the goals of soul but rather those of body.
Why do we fear our mortality? Because we fear everything beyond our control. The idea that we are being judged for our very lives is very hard to relate to.
But Rosh Hashanah is only secondarily about life in this world. It's ultimate purpose is about whether we are currently alive beyond this life. It is a reckoning of whether or not we are still attached at the root.
The Gemara tells us that three books are opened on Rosh Hashanah.
One book is for the complete tsadikim, one for the utterly wicked, and one for the middle class.
When we greet each other on Rosh Hashana with "may you be inscribed and sealed in the book of life" - it is to these books that we refer.
Tosfos on that Gemara explains that the books are recording our place at this moment with regards to our connection to the world to come.
What will happen to us during the year is only the Response to whatever we need to keep us moving towards eternity.
If one is God forbid inscribed as wicked, they may receive the "energy" of their good deeds in the form of pleasure in this world, because when presented with the choice of body-ego pleasures vs. good, they've indicated that their choice is Las Vegas over Jerusalem.
Their energy is thus spent in this world, with nothing left for them to live with in the next. What do they do there? Nothing. They are not alive there.
On the other hand being alive spiritually means being in a constant state of growth. Life in this world is simply a means towards eventual wholeness and holiness, and therefore its daily challenges are not something to avoid but rather embrace.
The Judgement on Rosh Hashanah is about us, and so on the day itself we can change, and thereby influence what is written about us. As we say in the musaf prayer - "repentance, tzedaka, and prayer, make the bad of the decree pass away...."
But what is critical to understand is that the "life" which we desire and pray for is not only life in this world. We of course also want life to be as pleasant as possible, we want only nachas. And in the next world, which is "all Shabbos," we will have only nachas.
Sometimes in this world we have less than that, and we have no choice but to do what to Torah teaches in order to become righteous: "Seven times the righteous one falls, and gets up." (Proverbs 24:16)
I heard it taught that the meaning is not: even though the righteous man falls, but rather it means he will certainly fall, as that is the nature of trying to get anywhere in life. What makes him righteous is that gets back up. As the verse ends, "but the wicked fall in disaster."
If we are inscribed in the book of life then our circumstances in this world will be those that we need to get there. If our spiritual needs do not include being wealthy, wining the lottery might destroy our lives. Because it's not going to bring good into our lives, even if we think beforehand we could handle it with ease..., and don't kid yourself, I would love to win the lottery, but as they say, if you don't play you can't win....
A person who is God forbid inscribed in the wicked book is cut off from enternity, and enjoy their reward here, but it is so relatively empty - even in this world!
But what is most important on Rosh Hashanah is not to think about ourselves really at all. What is most important is to celebrate the coronation of the King. To desire the rule of God, of good, throughout the universe. This is what we pray constantly about on the day. This is its only theme.
When our focus on Rosh Hashanah is upon celebrating our King, and not fear for our person, we can begin to feel the joy of the holy day.
Even though it is a day of trembling, don't ever stop being joyous with the awareness that God really is the King, and that He is the only True Power.
We recognize that only with true awareness of its own godliness, that humanity can rise from the depths of chaos that nations, religions, but mostly, multinational corporations have inflicted upon human society, and fulfil our destiny as the problem-solvers of our planet.
The Sages tell us that the heavenly kingdom is similar to an earthly one. The King has servants which are very close to the throne, cabinet posts and whatnot, and there are servants who perform less heady tasks. What does it mean to be "close" to the Throne?
It means living more in harmony with the Will of creation, it means living with the understand of your soul ruling over the impulses of your body.
In the end it means how much we love being connected to the King.
This is why the Torah rebukes one who does not "serve Hashem your God with joy and a good heart."
Because the root of Judgement goes beyond what we do - it asks us:
What is your capacity to love?
Why?
She believes she is obligated to "pray real hard" or else bad things might happen during the year. She hates the pressure!
She wished she could relate to the day in a way that would help her grow.
Let's try and do that:
There is a good and bad "side" to everything. It's true we should approach Rosh Hashanah with fear, but when it does not produce anxiety. When fear becomes anxiety it is a clear sign that what we're afraid for is not the goals of soul but rather those of body.
Why do we fear our mortality? Because we fear everything beyond our control. The idea that we are being judged for our very lives is very hard to relate to.
But Rosh Hashanah is only secondarily about life in this world. It's ultimate purpose is about whether we are currently alive beyond this life. It is a reckoning of whether or not we are still attached at the root.
The Gemara tells us that three books are opened on Rosh Hashanah.
One book is for the complete tsadikim, one for the utterly wicked, and one for the middle class.
When we greet each other on Rosh Hashana with "may you be inscribed and sealed in the book of life" - it is to these books that we refer.
Tosfos on that Gemara explains that the books are recording our place at this moment with regards to our connection to the world to come.
What will happen to us during the year is only the Response to whatever we need to keep us moving towards eternity.
If one is God forbid inscribed as wicked, they may receive the "energy" of their good deeds in the form of pleasure in this world, because when presented with the choice of body-ego pleasures vs. good, they've indicated that their choice is Las Vegas over Jerusalem.
Their energy is thus spent in this world, with nothing left for them to live with in the next. What do they do there? Nothing. They are not alive there.
On the other hand being alive spiritually means being in a constant state of growth. Life in this world is simply a means towards eventual wholeness and holiness, and therefore its daily challenges are not something to avoid but rather embrace.
The Judgement on Rosh Hashanah is about us, and so on the day itself we can change, and thereby influence what is written about us. As we say in the musaf prayer - "repentance, tzedaka, and prayer, make the bad of the decree pass away...."
But what is critical to understand is that the "life" which we desire and pray for is not only life in this world. We of course also want life to be as pleasant as possible, we want only nachas. And in the next world, which is "all Shabbos," we will have only nachas.
Sometimes in this world we have less than that, and we have no choice but to do what to Torah teaches in order to become righteous: "Seven times the righteous one falls, and gets up." (Proverbs 24:16)
I heard it taught that the meaning is not: even though the righteous man falls, but rather it means he will certainly fall, as that is the nature of trying to get anywhere in life. What makes him righteous is that gets back up. As the verse ends, "but the wicked fall in disaster."
If we are inscribed in the book of life then our circumstances in this world will be those that we need to get there. If our spiritual needs do not include being wealthy, wining the lottery might destroy our lives. Because it's not going to bring good into our lives, even if we think beforehand we could handle it with ease..., and don't kid yourself, I would love to win the lottery, but as they say, if you don't play you can't win....
A person who is God forbid inscribed in the wicked book is cut off from enternity, and enjoy their reward here, but it is so relatively empty - even in this world!
But what is most important on Rosh Hashanah is not to think about ourselves really at all. What is most important is to celebrate the coronation of the King. To desire the rule of God, of good, throughout the universe. This is what we pray constantly about on the day. This is its only theme.
When our focus on Rosh Hashanah is upon celebrating our King, and not fear for our person, we can begin to feel the joy of the holy day.
Even though it is a day of trembling, don't ever stop being joyous with the awareness that God really is the King, and that He is the only True Power.
We recognize that only with true awareness of its own godliness, that humanity can rise from the depths of chaos that nations, religions, but mostly, multinational corporations have inflicted upon human society, and fulfil our destiny as the problem-solvers of our planet.
The Sages tell us that the heavenly kingdom is similar to an earthly one. The King has servants which are very close to the throne, cabinet posts and whatnot, and there are servants who perform less heady tasks. What does it mean to be "close" to the Throne?
It means living more in harmony with the Will of creation, it means living with the understand of your soul ruling over the impulses of your body.
In the end it means how much we love being connected to the King.
This is why the Torah rebukes one who does not "serve Hashem your God with joy and a good heart."
Because the root of Judgement goes beyond what we do - it asks us:
What is your capacity to love?