About Face: Part 1
The Power of Confession
Rambam on Teshuva: The First StepThe Rambam opens his Laws of Teshuva (1:1) with a powerful assertion: for every commandment in the Torah, whether positive or negative, if one violates it, whether intentionally or accidentally, and then returns to the right path, that return is not complete without verbal confession. The verse he cites, "A man or woman when they do... and they will confess their sin which they did," teaches that viduy — confession — is not just an emotional or internal process. It is a spoken act, a mitzvah in itself.
Rambam provides the formula: "Please God, I have erred, perverted, been negligent before You... I regret and am ashamed... I will never return to this thing." This, he says, is the essence of confession.
But note the order: first comes teshuva, then comes viduy. Repentance must be real before it is verbal. Without genuine change, confession is just an apology — nice, perhaps, but ultimately hollow. Apologies can soothe a guilty conscience, but they don't rebuild a broken relationship. Viduy does. It is the spoken act that begins to repair the distance our sins have created between our soul and God.
What Is Complete Teshuva?In Laws of Teshuva 2:1-2, Rambam defines complete repentance:
"When an opportunity to repeat a transgression arises, and the person could do it again, and still refrains — not out of fear or weakness, but because of genuine change — that is complete teshuva."
He gives a vivid example: a man who sinned with a woman, and later finds himself with her again under the same circumstances. If he still refrains, he has become a true baal teshuva.
This repentance involves several components:
Facing God: Ha’aras Panim and Hester PanimTeshuva means return. But return from what? And return to what?
There are two spiritual states through which we experience our relationship with God. The first is called ha'aras panim — the shining of God’s Face. It is mentioned in the Priestly Blessing: "May God shine His Countenance upon you and be gracious to you."
This is the spiritual condition in which we feel God's love, attention, and presence. Just as a baby feels the love of its mother through her gaze, even without understanding language, so too we feel God’s gaze. It creates in us a sense of worth, belonging, and joy. It is the soul’s nourishment.
The opposite state is called hester panim — the hiding of God's Face. This is the painful spiritual confusion that sets in when we sin and withdraw from God. We no longer feel His gaze. We become afraid, lost, and alone.
Adam and Eve: The First Hester PanimThis idea may begin with the story of Adam and Eve. When they sinned by eating from the Tree of Knowledge, they became afraid and hid. God called to them: Ayeka? — "Where are you?" It was a question not just of location but of spiritual being. Where have you gone, My child? Where is the bond we shared?
This was their opportunity to confess, to admit, to return. But instead of facing God, Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the snake. No one took responsibility. In denying their sin and projecting guilt onto others, they missed the chance to return to God.
And perhaps worse: they assumed God would be angry beyond repair. They assumed judgment without offering vulnerability. They ran from love instead of toward it.
Viduy: Returning Face-to-FaceYom Kippur gives us the opportunity to answer Ayeka. It is our annual chance to reenter the garden, to step out from the bushes, and to face God — not with perfection, but with honesty.
When we say the viduy on Yom Kippur, let it not be mere ritual. Let it be the first step of re-entering relationship. May our words crack open the hard shell around our hearts. May they allow us to be seen again — fully, painfully, beautifully.
To "return" is not merely to stop sinning. It is to walk back toward God’s gaze. To feel once more the ha’aras panim we were made to live within.
That is teshuva. That is Yom Kippur. That is the beginning of our return.
Rambam provides the formula: "Please God, I have erred, perverted, been negligent before You... I regret and am ashamed... I will never return to this thing." This, he says, is the essence of confession.
But note the order: first comes teshuva, then comes viduy. Repentance must be real before it is verbal. Without genuine change, confession is just an apology — nice, perhaps, but ultimately hollow. Apologies can soothe a guilty conscience, but they don't rebuild a broken relationship. Viduy does. It is the spoken act that begins to repair the distance our sins have created between our soul and God.
What Is Complete Teshuva?In Laws of Teshuva 2:1-2, Rambam defines complete repentance:
"When an opportunity to repeat a transgression arises, and the person could do it again, and still refrains — not out of fear or weakness, but because of genuine change — that is complete teshuva."
He gives a vivid example: a man who sinned with a woman, and later finds himself with her again under the same circumstances. If he still refrains, he has become a true baal teshuva.
This repentance involves several components:
- Abandoning the sin
- Removing it from thought
- Resolving in one’s heart never to return to it
- Regretting what happened
- Confessing with one’s lips what has been resolved in the heart
Facing God: Ha’aras Panim and Hester PanimTeshuva means return. But return from what? And return to what?
There are two spiritual states through which we experience our relationship with God. The first is called ha'aras panim — the shining of God’s Face. It is mentioned in the Priestly Blessing: "May God shine His Countenance upon you and be gracious to you."
This is the spiritual condition in which we feel God's love, attention, and presence. Just as a baby feels the love of its mother through her gaze, even without understanding language, so too we feel God’s gaze. It creates in us a sense of worth, belonging, and joy. It is the soul’s nourishment.
The opposite state is called hester panim — the hiding of God's Face. This is the painful spiritual confusion that sets in when we sin and withdraw from God. We no longer feel His gaze. We become afraid, lost, and alone.
Adam and Eve: The First Hester PanimThis idea may begin with the story of Adam and Eve. When they sinned by eating from the Tree of Knowledge, they became afraid and hid. God called to them: Ayeka? — "Where are you?" It was a question not just of location but of spiritual being. Where have you gone, My child? Where is the bond we shared?
This was their opportunity to confess, to admit, to return. But instead of facing God, Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the snake. No one took responsibility. In denying their sin and projecting guilt onto others, they missed the chance to return to God.
And perhaps worse: they assumed God would be angry beyond repair. They assumed judgment without offering vulnerability. They ran from love instead of toward it.
Viduy: Returning Face-to-FaceYom Kippur gives us the opportunity to answer Ayeka. It is our annual chance to reenter the garden, to step out from the bushes, and to face God — not with perfection, but with honesty.
When we say the viduy on Yom Kippur, let it not be mere ritual. Let it be the first step of re-entering relationship. May our words crack open the hard shell around our hearts. May they allow us to be seen again — fully, painfully, beautifully.
To "return" is not merely to stop sinning. It is to walk back toward God’s gaze. To feel once more the ha’aras panim we were made to live within.
That is teshuva. That is Yom Kippur. That is the beginning of our return.